My Journey to Peace & Wellness

Here it goes….

I did it! I hit my first goal. I am down around 25 pounds! The journey getting to this point was a rough, broken road.

I have been struggling with anxiety and depression for a few years now and many of you wouldn’t have even known. I put up with a very toxic relationship for almost 4 years. I lost control of myself and I stopped caring about me. I spent every moment trying to hold everyone else and my relationship together as I fell apart. I spent the last year of my relationship crying myself to sleep from constant anxiety that filled my body because I wanted to believe the person that I fell in love with would change. I thought that maybe if I loved a little harder and dropped everything for this person that he would wake up one day and stop with the constant cheating every month and all of the awful lies he would put me through. I was wrong… it just made me sicker.

For years I didn’t understand what was going on and why I was feeling the way I was. Turns out I have a chemical imbalance. That’s the difference between sadness and depression... It is something I battle with every single day. There are days that I have to force myself out of bed and to find my motivation to keep going.

One day I woke up and I had finally realized that I had enough! I was tired of crying. I was tired of being manipulated. I was tired of having all of my walls built up around me trapping me from seeing my future. Most importantly, I was tired of my self-esteem being ripped to the ground. I remember calling my mom and begging her to help me. I said “Mom, I don’t care what I say tonight or what happens in the future, but you need to make sure that I never allow him back into the house or my life again.” I then turned to God and I just sat there and prayed for him to help me find the strength to walk away. I needed to take control of my life again and that is exactly what I did and I have not looked back or had any regrets. It is my turn to focus on ME and only ME. To get healthy again mentally and physically for ME.

I joined an amazing crossfit gym called Be Epic Athletics. I am forever grateful for my trainer, Jacob, who helped me get back on a more healthier and positive path!

After so long of trying my best to make others feel happy I realized that it’s not me who is in charge of making others happy. You are the only one in charge of your happiness and your path in life. Life is hard, you get knocked down, but you learn to pick yourself up again.

Today, I am down around 25 pounds and I am feeling stronger everyday. Of course I still have my bad days, but I pick myself up and I keep going. When I look at these photos I feel powerful and strong because looking at where I started as an insecure depressed girl who was begging for someone to love her and to me now, a beautiful courageous women who will not let anything stand in her way is a huge accomplishment. I now know my worth and nobody will ever have the power to take that away from me again. I am speaking my truth and I will not be silenced.

This is something that I don’t post about or talk about, but if it helps at least one person then I did my job. Keep going on your darkest days because I promise you there is light at the end of it all.

Leave a comment and tell me your health journey or what I can do to help you. Also please don’t hesitate to reach out.

Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA) provides information on prevention, treatment and symptoms of anxiety, depression and related conditions.

Phone: 240-485-1001 

The National Domestic Violence Hotline provides 24/7 crisis intervention, safety planning and information on domestic violence.

Phone: 1-800-799-7233

The Suicide Prevention Lifeline connects callers to trained crisis counselors 24/7. They also provide a chat function on their website.

Phone: 1-800-273-8255